Christmas Fruits

For a girl I’m pretty handy around the house. I can fix a blown fuse and even tackle those leaking pipes under the sink. It’s something that comes with having no brothers and a father with a bad back. For some reason my boyfriend thinks it earns me the title of a super girlfriend or something. I can even tinker around the car and I know what he’s taking about when he’s under the hood of his car. Naturally I feel very flattered.

Unfortunately he thinks that I know how to do this stuff out of interest instead of necessity. So on my birthday or any other occasion, he’ll always slip in some sort of hardware with my gifts. His Christmas gifts follow the same principle. Like two years ago he filled my Christmas stocking with nuts and bolts. Not hardware nuts but actual nuts like walnuts and stuff but he mixed it up with actual bolts! I had to sift through those bolts and pick out the eatables nuts. It weighed so much that my Christmas stocking broke off the mantle and I chipped a finger nail cleaning up the mess! After that I sat him down and gave him a crash course in Christmas holiday gifts for you girlfriend. I told him clearly that even if I was a lumberjack or a truck driver, I’d want romantic Christmas gifts.

I didn’t want to wake up to a mess of shells and bolts on Christmas day. I told him in elaborate detail what a romantic or sentimental gift is. Of course I said price didn’t matter, as long as the Christmas holiday gifts said I love you and stuff. I said I didn’t want any jewelry because it was just too much of a cliché romantic gift. Then I told him he had to find unique Christmas gifts for me instead of just buying the first thing some pretty girl behind the counter pointed out. He said he was pretty confident no other woman on earth had received nuts and bolts on Christmas day. He was right of course and that was why we were having this discussion. Last year he got me one of those Christmas gift baskets but it was filled with hardware catalogs and even the whole ‘home Improvement’ series on DVD and a fruit bouquet that had fruit cut and arranged to look like flowers with chocolate sauce. Well I guess edible Christmas gifts are a good start. The fruit bouquet was absolutely gorgeous. I think it was an original way to make Christmas fruits into a gift. After we had enjoyed the bouquet he insisted we watch the whole ‘Home Improvement’ series. He’s getting there but very slowly.