Christmas Fruits

I dated this guy for a while. He liked to blame everything on the government. It didn’t matter who was in government at that time. He could blame Republicans and Democrats with equal enthusiasm. I was okay with it for a while, because it seemed like they were screwing up but then his criticism began to get really dumb.

His mom had just had hip surgery and she was going to be in a wheel chair for a while. It was near Christmas so I thought I’d take one of those nice Christmas Fruit baskets over for her. She loved it and was wheeling herself into the living room to talk to me when she accidently bumped the wall. My boyfriend went off blaming the government for making substandard wheelchairs and for approving the design of his house. Three days later, my car started acting up and I asked him to drive me to the mall so I could shop for my Christmas Holiday Gifts. He blamed the government for my car problem and then drove to the mall. It took us fifteen minutes to find parking and he blamed the government. I was really beginning to feel sorry for the government and thought I might end up sending Christmas gifts to city hall, they deserved a Christmas gift basket at the very least.

I had to pick out Christmas gifts for my anti-government boyfriend and my mom. Mom would be a piece of cake, but what could I get for him? I guess everyone is thinking he’s some guy stuck in the seventies with big hair, i.e. a hippie but he is actually a huge Red Sox fan. So I thought I could buy a nice Red Sox jersey for him. He was a pretty huge guy and they didn’t have his size. And it was the governments fault. As much as I hated doing it, I broke up with the guy before Christmas. It was because of the government.